Breaking the Silence: The Power of Speaking About and Witnessing Trauma

(Translated from the original into English)

Trauma, especially experiences that shake a person’s bodily integrity and subjective existence, such as sexual abuse or assault, leaves traces not only in the body but also in the deepest layers of the psyche. Such experiences often fundamentally disrupt a person’s sense of self, their relationships with others, and their basic trust in the world. They typically leave behind heavy emotions such as shame, guilt, loneliness, and worthlessness, which are difficult to bear.

After experiencing such trauma, expressing the deep emotional pain in words is not easy. Often, the individual struggles to articulate what they have been through under the weight of these intense emotions. Speaking may feel like facing the possibility of being hurt again. Yet, when trauma cannot be verbalized, the pain becomes trapped not only within the individual but also spreads into different layers over time, becoming increasingly complex and intractable.

Traumatic experiences that cannot be put into words freeze in the mind and body; they cannot be processed, made sense of, or integrated into the person’s life story, resulting in splits within the psyche and the self. Until trauma is articulated, a person may become estranged from their own experience, and disconnections may emerge in their relationships with their body, emotions, and others. Ultimately, silence intensifies the weight of trauma: it deepens the suffering and weakens the individual’s connection to the world, further imprisoning them in an inner solitude.

Why, then, does a person feel guilt and shame over an event they did not willingly experience?

Because, particularly in cases of sexual trauma, the boundaries between the subject and guilt become blurred. The thought, “There must be a reason this happened to me,” can germinate unconsciously. This void is often filled with feelings of guilt and shame, as if the person is attempting to explain the uncontrollability of their emotional suffering and, in some way, regain a sense of control over it. This is, although misleading, a way of making sense of the events. Instead of accepting the external and unjust nature of what happened, the individual internalizes the pain as a form of explanation, because this provides at least an appearance of control and logic. Saying “It happened because of me” often feels more bearable than acknowledging, “I had no control; I was completely vulnerable.” However, this illusory sense of control also wounds the person’s psyche; the resulting guilt and shame harm the self and further hinder the sharing of the pain.

When it becomes possible to put the experience into words, a change occurs. The articulated experience ceases to be merely a recurring nightmare in the mind; it gains representation and finds new meaning in the witness of another. This is where the power of witnessing emerges: in the presence of a listener, the verbalized pain ceases to be a burden turning endlessly within the person; it becomes a sharable, understandable, and psychologically processable experience. A story that can be seen, heard, and borne by another evolves from being solely “what happened to me” into “an experience jointly understood with another.” This process allows the individual to repair connections with themselves and the world, while dissolving the numbness created by silence and reintegrating into the flow of life.

In psychotherapy, this process occurs at the pace and readiness of the client. In a safe therapeutic relationship, the person finds a space where even their most vulnerable emotions can be expressed. The therapist’s patient, nonjudgmental, and empathetic witnessing helps alleviate the weight of guilt, worthlessness, and shame that the client carries. Emotions put into words cease to be a burden carried alone; within the therapeutic relationship, they become shareable, meaningful, and transformable. This process allows the client to move from being a passive victim in their own story to becoming its subject, narrator, and even reconstructor. By reclaiming their subjectivity, the person not only finds their own voice but also reconnects with their inner creative and restorative capacities. This reconnection dissolves the numbness left by trauma, allowing the individual to re-engage with life and to experience hope and vitality once again.

Moreover, verbalizing and witnessing trauma does not solely facilitate individual healing; it also opens the door to societal transformation. When one person breaks their silence, it encourages others to voice their own stories. Every individual who finds their voice creates a space for others to do the same. This process transforms not only individuals but society as a whole, allowing the seeds of a more restorative and safe social fabric to take root.

For these reasons, being able to articulate trauma, or more precisely, to access relationships and bonds in which such articulation is possible, enables breaking the chains of silence and isolation together, carrying and making sense of the pain collectively, and simultaneously activating the creative force within. Such a process lies at the heart of not only individual psychological healing but also social repair; it makes healing, empowerment, and being fully alive as autonomous subjects possible.

Author: Clinical Psychologist Pelin Ulutaşlı